So there you are, minding your own business in a coffee shop, or at school, at work, wherever the place may be, it doesn’t matter. And all of a sudden you spot her! An angelic beauty, a vision. You think she’s great and you wanna make her acquaintance.
Sounds familiar? We’ve all been there, gentlemen.
So let’s start by discussing flirting from a real-world perspective, meaning when you’re actually flirting in person. No text messages, no Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or other social media apps. Even though the truth is that technology has changed the game and opened up a lot of possibilities.
But now we’re gonna talk about face-to-face flirting.
Nowadays, no one teaches you how to flirt. Which is a shame because it means that sometimes, even with the best of intentions, you could come across as creepy.
There is a fine line between coming across as charming and cute and looking like a guy that ultimately will be a little too pushy and therefore coming off as creepy. In fact, it’s more common than you might think. And if you like someone, you definitely do not want that to be the case.
So in this article, we’re gonna try to give you 5 pieces of advice and steps, which will help you flirt without being creepy and approach a woman.
Step 1 – Make eye contact.
Now, most people would say the first step in flirting is to make eye contact.
Essentially, you purposely have to get caught while glancing at them. This means glance in their direction repeatedly until you catch their eye.
Be subtle, try little glances.
Creepy alert: Staring! Don’t just stare. This will look creepy, and people can tell when they’re being stared at.
Not too much and not too little – this is the trick with eye contact.
Step 2 – Smile
After making eye contact, hold for long enough to smile at this person.
Because once you’ve caught, they’re gaze, you can move on to the next steps – a little smirk, a head nod, then look away.
Go back to work, go back to your business, just look away. Then, glance again. Because when you catch their eye again, this is the time to smile! Smile like “Aha, you caught me, how funny” ☺ Larger smile, give them the grill. In the flirting game, that’s a green light for Game On.
Creepy alert: Winking, biting your lower lip, or other weird facial expressions. Just a clean, nice smile will do.
Step 3 – Make a move.
Time is of the essence, so it’s time for you to make your next move. And that is… go up and introduce yourself! Be bold.
Confidently walk over. Not too fast, not too slow, no funny or clumsy walking. Simply walk up and introduce yourself. Say hello!
Now at this point, you’ll probably feel very excited (like passing out and throwing up at the same time), but this is totally normal. At this point, a lot of people freeze. Their brain goes blank.
One of the keys to being successful at flirting as well as small talk, is being prepared prior to the approach. You need to be prepared with your follow-up statement and question. If not, you’re gonna stand there, looking weird.
Creepy alert: Babbling and awkwardness. Don’t just say Hi and then freeze or grin weirdly. That’s creepy behavior right there.
Step 4 – Make a compliment.
There’s no better follow-up than a great compliment. There’s definitely some finesse into giving a compliment, they’re an art form. You just need to be honest and let it come naturally.
Because if someone gives you a compliment, you instantly like them more, right?
It’s simple. And don’t forget to look them in the eye when you compliment them.
You can combine sincere compliments that aren’t over the top, with a joke to ease the tension.
Creepy alert: If you get there and introduce yourself properly, don’t mess up afterward, with a cheesy pick-up line, or a sexual compliment. Be prepared with a good follow-up. “Girl, that ass” or “You look like you fell from Heaven” – scratch that off the list NOW!
Too many compliments or inappropriate ones = too much creepiness!
Step 5 – Know when to exit.
Alright, so the conversation’s going now. You’ve approached, you’ve complimented, you have shown confidence which, by itself, is already sexy.
The key now is not to overstay your welcome. Know when to exit. If you’ve established that you’re gonna see this person again, it’s good to end the conversation there, pick it up next time and leave them wanting more.
And this is the time you can also ask them for their number!
This is a difficult step too. Men freeze again on this one and end up regretting afterward they didn’t ask for the number.
Let’s take it this way: What is the worst thing that could happen? They say No.
And if they do, or they’re hesitant, then simply be courteous and exist stage left ☺ Say “Ok, well I understand, it was great meeting you anyway, hope you have a great day!” and just leave.
Live to flirt another day. Don’t keep trying to sell yourself. Because the only thing less sexy than somebody that’s insecure is somebody who seems desperate.
Creepy alert: Touch. You can shake hands at the end, but without crossing a line. Don’t be creepy with touch. Don’t make her feel trapped by physically blocking an exit or being with your body too close.
BONUS step – Look at their hand to see if they’re wearing a ring
This is actually the first step to do ☺ Because if they are, move on, Captain! That ship has sailed ☺ Don’t sweat it because undoubtedly in another few minutes, another ship without a captain would be by.
These are all super simple fixes to help you flirt better and be less creepy when you do it. Because sometimes you might be creeping your flirt out without even realizing it. And you need to learn what you can do to adjust that, so you come across as cool, confident and suave.
Ultimately, flirting is a numbers game. The more you flirt, the more people you interact with, the more you put yourself out there. And the more you do that, the more you’re improving your odds of actually something great happening.
We weren’t born being good at flirting. It’s something that takes practice; it is a skill you can develop. And the first few times you do it and approach somebody, it can be difficult, and you can feel emotional, awkward, and shy.
But the more you do it, the more comfortable and better at it you become! Bottom line, the main idea to actually exude confidence, attractiveness is to just be more authentically, yourself.
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