When a relationship has come to an end, it can be truly damaging. Everybody goes through something like this at least once in life and we know it can be very difficult to learn how to get over someone.
Some people cope easier, others find it quite difficult to get over it, but it is surely possible to heal.
If you feel like you are part of the people who take ages to heal, you are not alone. Everybody is in shock at first.
The bigger the shock, the longer it might take you to heal. Feel your emotions, even if they are sad and numb. You need to experience them rather than submerge them within you.
Whatever stage you are at, there are lots of tips in regards to feeling better. First of all, you need to make the conscious decision that you are moving forward even if some memories might remain. Allow yourself to heal!
There Is No Set Amount of Time
You need to understand that there are no international regulations as to how much time you are allowed to get over someone.
There are lots of individual factors to be taken into account and even some external ones.
Even so, you can process things at your own pace without any worry whatsoever about what people might think.
If you are beating yourself up in regard to how much time has passed, it will only do you worse. Relax. Take it easy. Time is your friend.
Remove Any Links
There should not be any link between the two of you whatsoever. Delete absolutely everything. If you have physical totems, throw them away as well. You literally do not need them in your life.
If need be, you might remember how you felt when you grow older and laugh at yourself. That is the only kind of memory you need. Delete the phone numbers, photos, texts, and contacts.
Never call or text regardless of the situation. Even if you get called or texted first, do not respond. Otherwise, you are not giving your brain the signal to start healing.
Do Not Blame Yourself
It does not matter what happened. It’s in the past now. Suppose you have learned a lesson that is amazingly valuable.
Now, you need to stop judging yourself and your actions. Good or bad, they’re in the past. Build up the confidence you had before and start going out if possible.
It is not required to start dating if you are not feeling like it yet, but go ahead and have fun with friends and family. Remembering to love yourself will be the greatest favor for your healing.
You can even start writing down a list of good things about you. Keep it personal or even throw it away after. It’s just a good exercise to see the good in yourself.
We know that sometimes you might want to just sit around and binge-watch TV, but trust us, this is a very bad idea. It will set you in a worse mood than you were before.
Go running, go to a library, start a new hobby. You just got yourself a whole new world of opportunities ahead of you.
Let Go of Anger
This last advice might be the most valuable. Let go of the anger you once felt. It is totally understandable to hate someone who you held dearest. You have, and rightly so.
Now, you need to stop. Not because you are not in the wrong, but because you deserve peace, and you can only offer it by yourself.
When you keep being angry with someone and blaming them, you keep on giving them power in a psychological pattern. As soon as you remove that, you will feel freedom again.
Follow all of the above and pace yourself. You will be fine. You have the power inside of you to seek betterment for yourself and your beloved ones.
If you open your eyes, you will one day understand that this might have been the biggest opportunity and not a loss.